Okay, we’re still 23 days out from Christmas, but sitting here enjoying my one-inch square, waxy piece of chocolate shaped like a deformed bell, I’ve already jumped into the eggnog pool with both feet. So, to kick off my month of glitter and sparkles (in red and green, of course!), here’s my newest version of “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”

12  Days of Christmas- Chengdu Style

On the first day of Christmas,
Chengdu sent to me
A single glowing ray of sunshine

On the second day of Christmas,
Chengdu sent to me
Two jin of jiaozi,
And a single glowing ray of sunshine

On the third day of Christmas,
Chengdu sent to me
Three wheels of terror,
Two jin of jiaozi,
And a single glowing ray of sunshine

On the fourth day of Christmas,
Chengdu sent to me
Four fully clothed dogs,
Three wheels of terror,                                                                                                                                                                                        Two jin of jiaozi,
And a single glowing ray of sunshine

On the fifth day of Christmas,
Chengdu sent to me
Five air purifiers,
Four fully clothed dogs,
Three wheels of terror,
Two jin of jiaozi,
And a single glowing ray of sunshine

On the sixth day of Christmas,
Chengdu sent to me
Six scooter collisions,
Five air purifiers,
Four fully clothed dogs,
Three wheels of terror,
Two jin of jiaozi,
And a single glowing ray of sunshine

On the seventh day of Christmas,
Chengdu sent to me
Seven cabbies a-smoking,
Six scooter collisions,
Five air purifiers,
Four fully clothed dogs,
Three wheels of terror,
Two jin of jiaozi,
And a single glowing ray of sunshine

On the eighth day of Christmas,
Chengdu sent to me
Eight grandmas advising,
Seven cabbies a-smoking,
Six scooter collisions,
Five air purifiers,
Four fully clothed dogs,
Three wheels of terror,
Two jin of jiaozi,
And a single glowing ray of sunshine

On the ninth day of Christmas,
Chengdu sent to me
Nine Saturday outings,
Eight grandmas advising,
Seven cabbies a-smoking,
Six scooter collisions,
Five air purifiers,
Four fully clothed dogs,
Three wheels of terror,
Two jin of jiaozi,
And a single glowing ray of sunshine

On the tenth day of Christmas,
Chengdu sent to me
Ten sidewalk loogies,
Nine Saturday outings,
Eight grandmas advising,
Seven cabbies a-smoking,
Six scooter collisions,
Five air purifiers,
Four fully clothed dogs,
Three wheels of terror,
Two jin of jiaozi,
And a single glowing ray of sunshine

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
Chengdu sent to me
Eleven unsmiling PAP guards,
Ten sidewalk loogies,
Nine Saturday outings,
Eight grandmas advising,
Seven cabbies a-smoking,
Six scooter collisions,
Five air purifiers,
Four fully clothed dogs,
Three wheels of terror,
Two jin of jiaozi,
And a single glowing ray of sunshine

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
Chengdu sent to me
Twelve stops on the Metro,
Eleven unsmiling PAP guards,
Ten sidewalk loogies,
Nine Saturday outings,
Eight grandmas advising,
Seven cabbies a-smoking,
Six scooter collisions,
Five air purifiers,
Four fully clothed dogs,
Three wheels of terror,
Two jin of jiaozi,
And a single glowing ray of sunshine

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(A few years ago,as I avoided spending another hour with my Chinese textbooks, desperately wishing for some ayi vocabulary but only learning to express my opinion on six-party trade talks, I wrote an FSI version as well. It’s here, if you are interested.)